Sleepless in Montreal

I'm 99% sure that we're done having kids. Yes, I would love to have a girl...I am too much of a girly-girl to NOT be drawn to pink tutus and doing pigtails. BUT...I HATE sleepless nights. Devin nurses every 1 1/2 to 2 hours ALL. NIGHT. LONG. He sleeps longer stretches during the day (Murphy's Law right?) - sometimes over 3 hours. However it seems he's a night owl like his older brother (who's bedtime lately is averaging 10:30pm) and his father (who's bedtime is always hours later than mine).

This is my only real complaint about babies. If someone invented a safe "baby-sleeping-serum", I would totally endure being pregnant again, endure an all-natural labour again, endure being spit up on, endure changing a million dirty diapers...even endure the screaming crying. BUT I WANT TO SLEEP 4 CONSECUTIVE HOURS, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!?

P.S. As I type this, Devin is fast asleep in his carseat...and looks like an angel.

living up to his name...

Devin's middle name is Issac. We chose it for it's meaning: "he who laughs".


I hope this is the beginning of a lifetime of fervent smiles and laughter.


Devin - 6 weeks

Right now his eyes are the most incredible shade of blue-grey. I know basic biology says that brown eyes are dominant and his eyes will inevitably change to become "browner", but right now they are such an interesting, unique color.

Don't let him fool you...

He looks pretty peaceful here...

but his cries are anything but.

Seriously...I've never heard a baby cry as loudly and as ferociously as my little Devin. Sometimes it's so obnoxious it's funny. Sometimes (mostly when it's between the hours of 1am to 5am) it's not that funny.








One of the few moments where Hudson actually acknowledges his little brother. He brought Devin some stuffed animals, took some of his own pictures of him...then punched him in the face. We're 99% sure it was an accident.

just because...

he's so sweet.

My boys...all 4 of them

The joys of my life

Devin's favorite expression

Ohhhhhhhh...

Bosco meets Devin for the first time. Bosco was so super excited. His tail was wagging like crazy. He's such a good dog.

He couldn't get enough sniffs...seriously...he went crazy smelling Devin and everything Devin-related.

A house full of boys. I'm so outnumbered.

Devin's Story

He is destined to be a Stinker. Maybe even more so than his big brother Hudson. He was supposed to be born via a scheduled C-section on Febrary 12th. It was all planned. My sister Susan had taken a half day off of work so she could help my mother take care of Hudson while I was in the hospital. It was kinda weird knowing exactly when his birthday was going to be...down to the time...11:00am.



BUT...



Devin had totally different plans.



He didn't want to wait. He wanted OUT! He wanted to pick his own birthday. He didn't want his arrival to be "well planned" and "scheduled". He wanted to surprise us all.

Devin Isaac T. was born February 7th, at 9:46am, weighing 6 lbs, 11 ounces.

He came quickly...really quickly. I woke up at 6:30am feeling some cramps. An hour later I was sure my contractions were real. We left the house, headed for the hospital at 8:20am. Rob drove like a maniac while I grunted my way through the contractions. We had never toured the hospital birthing unit, so we didn't know which entrance we were supposed to go through (The Royal Victoria Hospital in Montreal is INSANELY big and confusing). We (of course) chose the wrong one. Which meant I had to walk a million miles to get to where I was supposed to go. I was already fully dilated by the time I got checked by the doctor in triage (10 plus 1 centimetres). There was no time to do anything but PUSH THE BABY OUT! 100% naturally. The Doctor said it was a textbook delivery. Yay me! Yay Devin!






8 days old

God doesn't give you any more than you can handle

Really...I think He may be overestimating me.
I couldn't wait for 2009 to be over.
I thought 2010 could only get better.
I was so so wrong.
My dad died so suddenly.
Less than 48 hours from the time he was admitted to the hospital.
To when we said our last goodbye.
Then Baby Khang Khang keeps reminding me with his fierce kicks that he's coming to say his first "hello".
4 more weeks.
Life is not fair.
It just goes on.

Good riddance 2009

32 weeks

Ready for our last date of 2009

Who says mamas can't wear fishnets?

Notre Dame Basillica on New Years Day 2010. A spontaneous drive led us here...felt good to start the year with a fervent prayer.

The kids bowing to my parents as per Korean New Year's Tradition

The adults turn.

Rob gave me Mitch Albom's latest book "Have a little Faith" for Christmas. I just finished it last night. I loved it. It was the perfect thing for me to read to start off the New Year. I have faith. I have hope. I will be better in 2010. Because I have no other choice...and sometimes that is the best motivator.

Happy Holidays

It's impossible not to get in the Christmas Spirit when you have a three year old. We left out milk and cookies for Santa, we left out carrots and apples for the reindeer, we hung our stockings with care...and Hudson (for once in his life) willingly went to bed quickly with the hopes that Santa would visit.

He did, of course.


First thing in the morning...seeing that Santa came!

Opening presents, with his ever helpful puppy companion


Bosco made it on Santa's "Nice" list


Opening presents with Romy

Victor and Edouard ripping open their gifts

Holiday hugs

Mama and her boys

(Photo courtesy of Hudson...not bad eh?)

Posing by the tree

Rosy snow kissed cheeks (after "helping" his dad shovel)

Merry Christmas everyone...hope you spent the day with people you love, like we did.

It's not really Christmas in Montreal...

Until you go visit the window display at Oglivy's downtown.


It hasn't changed since I was a kid. It was so special showing Hudson the exact same display that I used to love when I was little.

It's not all Bah Humbug around here ;)

The only time you'll see Rob dance...

Wanna see what the kids (Romy, Victor, and Edouard) were up to yesterday, while they were babysitting Hudson and Bosco all day?!?

http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/5xGxSqs4VdLoDElukTRZ

http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/fEkrdsHVVf5blgyf

It's freaking hilarious.

Couldn't resist...

Posting this picture.



Hudson got to sample a Starbucks Creme Brulee Latte (oh common...before you all freak out...it was teeny tiny).



He loved it.



He is his parent's son, afterall.

Dirty laundry

I read a lot of blogs. Some of the ones I like best are the ones that are brutally honest about their lives. The crappy moments aren't sugar-coated. They're unapologetically exposed for the world to read. These bloggers write as a form of therapy, a way to release the negativity they feel. I've debated for two months now, on whether or not I would share on this blog how shitty I've been feeling, and the reason behind it. It's scary for me to see myself changing from someone who used to laugh at everything to someone who is always on the verge of crying. I don't like the new me. I don't want to be the sad/mad/bitter person I see myself becoming. It scares me. It makes me worry that Hudson feels it. It makes me worry that the baby inside me feels it. It's scary being 7 months pregnant and not knowing if, and when, and where I'll be settled in the next two months. I am tired of feeling like life is always a "struggle" for me and my family. When is it my turn to "coast" through life instead of struggling? I feel robbed of a good future, and instead given a bleak one. Without going into detail, we are not moving to BC like I've written about in the past, because that career has ended before it even began. I don't want to sound cryptic, but it's not really my story to tell.

Do I need a kick in the pants???

I know I should be setting my priorities straight. I have a beautiful, healthy child. I have another one on the way. I have a husband who loves me. I have a family who would do anything for me. I have friends who let me cry/vent to them as often as necessary.

So why can't I let this go?

Happy Birthday Hudson!

Hudson turned three! And so it's only right that he got 3 birthday cakes in one week, right?!?

A cake with his cousins (homemade and decorated with love by his Auntie Sue-Poo and Romy)

A cake with his Nanny and Bobby (two little green froggies)


A chocolate cake with his Halmonie and Hadabogi

On a chocolate cake sugar high!

Cake(s), presents, and balloons...he really couldn't have asked for anything more.